By the end of this year, TV makers expect 3.4 million 3D TVs to be shipped. This is the worst consumer mistake since the time we chose to spend our Thursday nights watching Jersey Shore. As I prepared to write this article I didn't know much about 3D TV's. But, I figured all needed to know is that they are overpriced and useless -- kind of like the cast of Jersey Shore.
To begin with, why do I even need to see TV in 3D? Suppose you just bought a beautiful new Samsung 46'' LCD TV from Best Buy for $1,200. You're watching the final round of a PGA golf tournament on a nice sunny Sunday and Tiger Woods is walking to the 18th green for the win. Actually, with the way it's going now, let's assume Tiger is out of the tournament at this point. Suppose some other golfer is about to win the championship on the final hole. Do you really need to see his golf ball right in front of your eyes to know the putt is going in? No, that's why you didn't let that Best Buy salesman sucker you into buying a 3D TV (also it was $2,000 more expensive).
With a 3D TV do you really want to watch Donavon McNabb's barf flying at your face? (Be thankful he's out of Philadelphia before 3D TV sales take off). Does anybody want to see Glenn Beck's spit in three different dimensions? Does anybody want to see Glenn Beck to begin with? Would Jay Leno's head even fit in those small glasses? These questions can all be answered with no. You get my point -- 3D is useless.
Let's take another step and think about the path technology has taken. On Feb. 11, 2009, President Obama signed the final mandatory analog TV cutoff date -- now all TV's would be digital. That was less than a year ago. It took Apple about 15 years to get from those clunky eMac desktops to the sleek, futuristic-looking Macbook Pro laptops.
A year ago the TV industry and U.S. government were pushing grandmas all over America from their black and white, rabbit ears TV's towards one with a digital converter box. Now, that same TV industry is trying to sucker those same grandmas into wasting away thousands on a TV that can show you the crevices in George Clooney's face in eye-popping 3D.
Who said plain-old flat screen TVs are obsolete? Well, no one, except the people trying to sell these 3D TVs. Perhaps I'm bitter because just last winter my family got a new boring 2D flat-screen TV. Without any data, I would guess each family has an average of three TVs and about one of those TVs is a flat-screen LCD TV.
How, all the sudden, did we arrive at 3D TVs? The majority of us still have the big box-like TVs, but why we're now supposed to replace them with these money-wasting 3D TVs? Let's first transition to simple 2D flat screen TVs because I'm not a man to skip steps.
Have you seen that Sony commercial for their 3D technology in which Justin Timberlake and Peyton Manning (what a pair) are wearing those 3D glasses? I've seen it about 50 times, even though it was just on my obsolete 2D TV.
Either way, what is the point of watching TV? Mine is it's entertaining and often relaxing. For some odd reason I wouldn't be too relaxed with those annoying alien-like 3D sunglasses on. Not to mention how dumb you'd look when the pizza guy delivers your in-game pizza on a Sunday afternoon during the Eagles game? Further, you want to throw a little Super Bowl party? Start to dish out the dough for twenty 3D glasses at $75 a pop. Yes, the 3D glasses to match these new TVs are that expensive. At that rate, you could bring your twenty friends to the game to watch it in real 3D.
Why we don't need a 3D TV is very clear cut. Surprisingly more clear-cut than were the answers to my earlier questions about the President's popularity and Facebook's power. Hopefully the 3D TV market will be dead on arrival, although it's already begun to arrive. Judging by all the commercials and the hype surrounding the new technology, I can't imagine the 3D TV market will come out gasping for air -- in fact, some believe we will all own a 3D TV eventually. Unfortunately, numerous reports say 3D TV's by 2014, about 43 million units will be shipped. Until then, I'll enjoy watching Tiger miss the cut without 3D glasses on.
- Adam Garnick
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